The
most charismatic people have 2 Main things in common. These 2 Traits
are learnable, can be brought to a great level without much effort and
yet still take time to master fully. Once known they will make you
popular, others will listen to you, want to be around you and they will
treat you with more respect than they ever have. Here they are:
1. Turn yourself into an active Listener. What
is the feeling you get when you talk to someone amazing? Don’t you feel
as if the entire world revolves around you for the time you talk to
them?
When you can show someone that they are the most
important thing to you at this moment in time, they feel amazing. They
develop a feeling of gratitude towards you because you treat them like
they really matter. In the end, we all want to feel like our life
had some meaning, like we weren’t just a grain of sand floating in the
wind. Giving someone this feeling is amazing for them, but it also makes
you pay attention.
Active Listeners value
their conversation partners and everything they have to say, even if
they do not agree with it. Most people just listen. They think about
other things, get distracted or are not fully attentive to us when we
talk. But if you change to become an active listener people will come to
you with their problems, they will want to have more conversations with
you and they will open up almost naturally to you.
This
Skill is difficult to master because it puts a lot responsibility on
you, but is quite easy to develop. If you want to make others feel
important and meaningful, all you need to do is behave that way. When
you are talking to someone important to you, make them feel that way as
well. Think that you have to hold a speech on what they say the next day
in front of 100 people.
Also, think that
whatever they tell you means a lot to them. This is something very
personal and close to their heart and they are entrusting you with this
right now. Thinking about these two things before going into a
conversation will make you pay attention. You will not look at your
phone and instead treat them like they mean the world to you right now.
2. Create an amazing attitude. When
asked what the goal of life was for people, most responded with “I just
want to be happy.” Happiness, feeling elated and excited, are feelings
we all seek every day. We spend money on experiences and things that are
supposed to make us feel that way. Work hard to be able to pay for a
few happy experiences, and even sacrifice most of our life so that we
get a small glimpse of it.
Now, what do you
believe would happen if you were a source of happiness and excitement
for others? How would others behave around you if you made them feel
amazing? What about if you had so much fun that they were envious of
that fun?
People will start to treat you with
more respect. They will value you more because you are giving them that
which they seek from life, which means, if you talk to them and are
around them, they will listen to you and respect you.
This
is a trade you are undergoing here. You are willing to give them the
feeling of happiness by sharing your own happiness with them, and for
that you receive their attention and respect.
Think
about it: Why are people with humor so popular? Comedians and
Celebrities with a sense of humor can take over entire stadiums when
they speak because they are liked and valued. People listen to them,
trust them and aspire to be like them, all because of their positive
attitude!
You may not be able to take over
entire stadiums when you speak, but maybe your circle of friends and the
smaller events you attend. To do this start to have fun for yourself.
Be a little selfish and see how you can have the most fun. If you follow
that path you will eventually radiate that happiness to the people
around you.
Learn to have an amazing attitude
and not only will people want to spend more time with you, but you will
also have a better life and way more fun!
-- Lukas Schwekendiek via Quora
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