Monday, January 09, 2006

The Five Things Men Should Do

Some things are easier said than done. For instance, it's easier to say you're going to eat better, but then opt for the drive-through burger when the day gets too hectic.

We all do it, men and women alike. We know we should do certain things, we even say it out loud, "I really should do this or that," but then we never get around to making a life change.

Sometimes there is a logical explanation for our behavior, other times there is not.

But in the name of making the world a better place, there's never a limit on self-improvement.

Five things men should do, but don't:

1) Get regular check-ups. I have a friend who hasn't been to see a dentist in six years. The only way he'll go to any doctor - be it dentist, optometrist or physician - is if his girlfriend makes the appointment for him.

Most men I know avoid regular checkups like they avoid shopping with their wives. Both experiences leave them sitting in uncomfortable chairs waiting for someone to come tell them it's time to go, and the former sometimes also requires turning your head and coughing. Not fun.

The average man firmly believes he can cure himself of whatever ails him by walking it off. If there's nothing ailing him, well, then, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

My co-working attributes this phenomenon to a little bit of "male machismo."

He says that while he sends his wife to the doctor anytime she has the sniffles, he could have an arrow sticking out of his forehead and rationalize, "It's not that bad, I'm sure it will fall out tomorrow."

While logic might point said male in the direction of the doctor's office, when it comes down to it, I think men are scared to go get checked because they're afraid of what the doctor might find.

But maybe the answer to this is less profound than that. After all, male machismo is a strong and baffling force.

2) Watch less TV. Yes, that's right. Watch less TV! Or at least don't be so consumed by what you see on-screen. It's very irritating to us women when we feel like the TV runs your life. We could parade naked in front of you, but if CSI is on (which now runs Monday, Wednesday and Thursday) we can forget about getting any kind of attention. There's more to life than the tube, boys, so turn it off every once in a while to see what else is out there.

3) Learn to listen without interrupting. There's nothing worse than when we ladies wait all day to talk to you and in the middle of our in-depth story about something that went wrong at work, you interrupt us mid-sentence to yell, "Whoa, did you see that gecko hiss at the cockroach on the floor? Cool." We feel your lack of ability to just listen to the end of the story means you're not interested in what we have to say. Plus, you're always interrupting us with some insignificant factoid.

Talking is the way we women make a connection to you, the man. Is it that hard to just let us finish?

"But if I didn't tell you about the gecko right then and there I'd forget, or you'd miss it," the man maintains.

That's fine with us, let the gecko go about his business. If you love us, then pay attention to what matters the most in our world: that we get to share our day with someone who really cares to hear what we're feeling.

4) Intimacy before and after. I have lots of girlfriends who complain that the intimacy in their long-term relationships is close to non-existent.

Gone are the early honeymoon-stage days of staring deep into each other's eyes, of shoulder rubs, making out and cuddling.

As time goes on, men seem more obsessed with just getting the job done and getting on with life than with slowing down to enjoy the view.

Women are left feeling a bit neglected and unsatisfied. For us the cuddling and kissing is part of an all-inclusive experience.

We know you're tired, but we'd appreciate a little extra effort every once in a while. Trust me, the more work you put in at the start, the sweeter your lady's experience will be.

5) Throw away old belongings. You know that old shirt with the hole in the armpit? Or that pair of underwear you have from high school that resembles Swiss cheese? How about that pair of used-to-be white socks that are so smelly they've scared away all the other dirty laundry in the basket?

Men should learn to throw their old things out! Sure, save the items that have true sentimental value, but don't tell me that the Swiss cheese underwear "still has some life left in it."

Unless it's a baseball card you've saved from childhood and plan to sell to buy a new house, if it's falling apart, time to let it go. You can buy new socks at Wal-Mart.

Next week: Five things women should do, but don't. Stay tuned.

-- Katie Young, MidWeek, March 9, 2005

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