Shinran

Until Shinran's time in medieval Japan, Buddhism had been the preserve of monastic adepts who sought enlightenment through rigorous and demanding mental and physical practices that were available to only the most capable individuals. Ordinary people could only look forward to numerous future rebirths in transmigration until they acquired sufficient spiritual potential to break through the bondage of infinitude and attain final nirvana or Buddhahood.

WB + UPN = CW

The two networks were launched in 1995 with great fanfare. Both aimed at the youthful viewers who were lucrative and yet increasingly elusive for their bigger broadcast rivals. Each has since lost its owners close to $1 billion.

Now, in a surprise move that's a sign of the struggles in network television, Warner Bros. Entertainment and CBS are shutting down their also-ran networks, WB and UPN, this September. Instead, they are jointly forming a new network, dubbed CW, to replace both. CW will inherit the assets — and most of the top shows — from WB and UPN.

What Women Should Do, Too

As promised, it's the women's turn. Last week's Young View detailed five things men should do, but don't.

If you missed it, they included getting regular checkups, watching less TV, learning how to listen without interrupting, stepping up the intimacy and throwing away old belongings.

Now, let's turn the tables on the ladies.

Five things women should do, but don't:

1) Do minor repairs on your own car. The other day I got an e-mail from a friend. It joked about a woman who went into a repair shop and was asking for a replacement "710."

The repair guys had no idea what she was talking about so they asked her to show them if another car in their garage had a "710." When they opened the hood of the car, the woman pointed to the "710," which was in clear view.

"That's not a '710,'" said the guy. "It's the OIL cap."

Most women - not all, but most - have never changed a flat tire. They may be better than the above-mentioned woman and know where the oil cap is, but whether or not they've ever attempted to change the oil is another matter.

When I was in college, my dad sent me a book for women on fixing cars. It had big pictures and easy diagrams. I don't think I ever used it.

Instead, I called on boyfriends, neighbors or friends anytime a stray nail found its way into my tire. Now, I call on the mechanical services of Sebastian anytime my oil needs changing.

Why should we learn to do what men have been taking care of for the better part of a century? Because we argue for equality and independence. And just because a car has mechanical parts and requires lifting and getting dirty, it doesn't mean it should be a job for guys only.

At the very minimum, we should know how to fix a flat, change the oil and pay attention for any strange sounds emanating from the hood area.

(This item also applies to learning to do your own taxes and, according to Sebastian, learning how to "spackle," a.k.a. do some house repairs.)

2) Less talking. Or, as my friend Alan put it, "Don't take a gosh darn hour to tell me about your day!"

You know how you ask your boyfriend or husband to tell you about his day and he answers, "It was OK."

Men would love it if women could respond the same way. Instead, we women wait anxiously to be asked the question (it makes us feel like the man is interested) and then proceed with an hour-long monologue/diatribe about everything that happened from the time we walked into the office to when we made dinner at night.

Men just can't understand why we need to talk so much. They aren't going to remember all those details so they'd rather we just get to the point and let them get back to watching SportsCenter.

When the gab goes overboard, men tune us out. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they don't need as much verbal contact as we do to feel connected.

No matter how hard we argue it, the bottom line is men by genetics have a listening limit. There's no way to change that and we shouldn't force them.

So let his ears have a break every once in a while. Tell your man about your day in a more selective way. Think Cliff Notes.

3) Be more easygoing. One of the primary complaints I hear from men about their women as that we over-analyze everything. Take Lani, for instance. She and Jay were celebrating their one-year anniversary by having dinner. Lani expressed enthusiasm during the meal by saying, "Can you believe it has been a year already?"

Jay was silent. He nodded and then dug into his plate of chicken saltimboca.

Immediately, Lani began to analyze. "Why didn't he respond? Did he feed his face to cover the fact that he really doesn't care? I guess I don't mean anything to him."

What Jay was really thinking was "Hmm ... one year. That's March, August, November... hey, that's when I got my new truck! Cool."

Women think out loud, men don't. This is why we women freak out when our man doesn't respond to our commentary. Most men don't have hidden agendas like we think they do; they take everything at face value.

So instead of analyzing everything that he says and doesn't say, ladies, take a breath and stop the maddening "what ifs" from taking over.

4) Say what you mean, mean what you say.

This one is easy. Stop making your man guess what you're feeling. It drives them nuts. They are no more capable of reading your subtle signs than they are able to buy you a pretty dress in the right size.

If you're angry at him, just tell him why. If you want him to help more around the house, you have to say so.

Leaving a man to guess at what it is you want or feel is as risky a game as playing roulette in Las Vegas. More often than not, you'll end up feeling angry and dissatisfied.

5) Stop asking his opinion on everything. Even though we women would love to be included on every decision our man makes, from his daily lunch choice to what shirt he wears to dinner, men don't want the same from us. Unless you want his help on something major like buying a new car, your man doesn't feel he needs to have a hand in everything you do. Unless he's a control freak, he probably doesn't care what you're making for dinner, as long as he gets to eat. He also won't be able to give you an opinion on which decanter you should buy for your Aunt Flo who lives in Rhode Island. Though women like that extra assurance in all of life's matters, men would rather we make those little decisions on our own.

Comments?

-- KATIE YOUNG, The Young View, MidWeek March 16, 2005

Dahn Hak

Mixing elements from martial arts and yoga, the Korean practice of Dahn Hak is finding new students in Hawaii because, they say, it is both relaxing and energizing.

Some sources say the organization is not so innocent.

Best and Worst from Ebert & Roeper (& Siskel)

Ebert & Roeper's Best Movies of 2005

But more fun is their list of Worst Movies of 2005

Ebert & Roeper Special Shows

Past Best and Worst Lists from Ebert & Roeper (& Siskel) from 1986-2000

Siskel & Ebert & Roeper's Ten Best from 1967-2004

* * *

[1/16/06] Much more importantly, what are my favorite movies of the year? Looking at my DVD collection at dvdspot, here they are.

2005 - Kung Fu Hustle (2004 movie, but 2005 release in U.S.)
2004 - Something The Lord Made / National Treasure / Blade: Trinity
2003 - Finding Nemo / School of Rock
2002 - My Big Fat Greek Wedding / Two Week's Notice / Hero
2001 - Rush Hour 2
2000 - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon / Shanghai Noon / Space Cowboys
1999 - The Matrix
1998 - Rush Hour
1997 - Batman and Robin
1996 - Eraser / Independence Day
1995 - Mortal Kombat
1994 - Fist of Legend / Wing Chun
1993 - Demolition Man / Jurassic Park / Army of Darkness / Iron Monkey
1992 - Sneakers / Aladdin / Honeymoon In Vegas
1991 - Once Upon A Time In China
1990 - none
1989 - When Harry Met Sally
1988 - Midnight Run / Rain Man (don't have Midnight Run yet)
1987 - The Princess Bride
1986 - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
1985 - Yes Madam!
1984 - Beverly Hills Cop
1983 - WarGames / Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
1982 - Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan / Rocky III
1981 - Raiders of the Lost Ark
1980 - Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
1979 - The Magnificent Butcher
1978 - Heaven Can Wait / Drunken Master
1977 - Oh God! / Star Wars
1976 - The Bad News Bears
1975 - none
1974 - none
1973 - Enter The Dragon
1967 - The Dirty Dozen
1966 - Batman the Movie
1964 - Goldfinger

The 48 Laws of Power

Law 1 - Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

And 47 more. (This site is actually more or less the table of contents from the book.)

-- from Cool Tricks and Trinkets #383

New Year's Traditions

Why do the Spanish stuff twelve grapes in their mouths at the stroke of midnight? Why won't Scots allow a short, blonde physician to cross the threshold first? And why do Norwegians hide one almond in their rice pudding?

Useless Information

The site is called Useless Information, but it reads sort of like Ripley's Believe or Not.

-- from Cool Tricks and Trinkets #385

The Devil's Candy

High-fructose corn syrup is making America fat. How? By shutting off the switches that control appetite. It's more easily turned into fat than any other carbohydrate. And it's everywhere, from the obvious places like Coke and Mountain Dew to barbecue sauce and canned soup. [from chucks_angels]

Brain Calisthenics

[1/11/07] Is there hope for your hippocampus, a new lease for your temporal lobe? Science is not sure yet, but across the country, brain health programs are springing up, offering the possibility of a cognitive fountain of youth.

[7/6/05] Steps you can take to avoid losing your brain

Yoga For You

01/08/06 - Warrior Pose 3

01/01/06 - Uttanasana (intense stretch pose)

12/25/05 - Bridge Pose

12/17/05 - Standing Eagle Pose

12/11/05 - Half Moon Pose

12/4/05 - Chair Hamstring Stretch

11/27/05 - Virabhadrasana (warrior pose)

11/20/05 - Utkatasana (fierce pose)

11/13/05 - L-shaped pose

11/6/05 - Eagle Pose

10/30/05 - Chair Shoulder Stretch

10/23/05 - Sitting Chair Twist

10/16/05 - Downward-Facing Dog Pose

10/9/05 - Tree Pose

10/2/05 - Cow Faced Pose

9/25/05 - Bound finger pose

* * *

For Ray Madigan, an Iyengar yoga practitioner for 13 years, "The great thing is yoga has become popular, and the bad thing is yoga has become popular."

The Five Things Men Should Do

Some things are easier said than done. For instance, it's easier to say you're going to eat better, but then opt for the drive-through burger when the day gets too hectic.

We all do it, men and women alike. We know we should do certain things, we even say it out loud, "I really should do this or that," but then we never get around to making a life change.

Sometimes there is a logical explanation for our behavior, other times there is not.

But in the name of making the world a better place, there's never a limit on self-improvement.

Five things men should do, but don't:

1) Get regular check-ups. I have a friend who hasn't been to see a dentist in six years. The only way he'll go to any doctor - be it dentist, optometrist or physician - is if his girlfriend makes the appointment for him.

Most men I know avoid regular checkups like they avoid shopping with their wives. Both experiences leave them sitting in uncomfortable chairs waiting for someone to come tell them it's time to go, and the former sometimes also requires turning your head and coughing. Not fun.

The average man firmly believes he can cure himself of whatever ails him by walking it off. If there's nothing ailing him, well, then, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

My co-working attributes this phenomenon to a little bit of "male machismo."

He says that while he sends his wife to the doctor anytime she has the sniffles, he could have an arrow sticking out of his forehead and rationalize, "It's not that bad, I'm sure it will fall out tomorrow."

While logic might point said male in the direction of the doctor's office, when it comes down to it, I think men are scared to go get checked because they're afraid of what the doctor might find.

But maybe the answer to this is less profound than that. After all, male machismo is a strong and baffling force.

2) Watch less TV. Yes, that's right. Watch less TV! Or at least don't be so consumed by what you see on-screen. It's very irritating to us women when we feel like the TV runs your life. We could parade naked in front of you, but if CSI is on (which now runs Monday, Wednesday and Thursday) we can forget about getting any kind of attention. There's more to life than the tube, boys, so turn it off every once in a while to see what else is out there.

3) Learn to listen without interrupting. There's nothing worse than when we ladies wait all day to talk to you and in the middle of our in-depth story about something that went wrong at work, you interrupt us mid-sentence to yell, "Whoa, did you see that gecko hiss at the cockroach on the floor? Cool." We feel your lack of ability to just listen to the end of the story means you're not interested in what we have to say. Plus, you're always interrupting us with some insignificant factoid.

Talking is the way we women make a connection to you, the man. Is it that hard to just let us finish?

"But if I didn't tell you about the gecko right then and there I'd forget, or you'd miss it," the man maintains.

That's fine with us, let the gecko go about his business. If you love us, then pay attention to what matters the most in our world: that we get to share our day with someone who really cares to hear what we're feeling.

4) Intimacy before and after. I have lots of girlfriends who complain that the intimacy in their long-term relationships is close to non-existent.

Gone are the early honeymoon-stage days of staring deep into each other's eyes, of shoulder rubs, making out and cuddling.

As time goes on, men seem more obsessed with just getting the job done and getting on with life than with slowing down to enjoy the view.

Women are left feeling a bit neglected and unsatisfied. For us the cuddling and kissing is part of an all-inclusive experience.

We know you're tired, but we'd appreciate a little extra effort every once in a while. Trust me, the more work you put in at the start, the sweeter your lady's experience will be.

5) Throw away old belongings. You know that old shirt with the hole in the armpit? Or that pair of underwear you have from high school that resembles Swiss cheese? How about that pair of used-to-be white socks that are so smelly they've scared away all the other dirty laundry in the basket?

Men should learn to throw their old things out! Sure, save the items that have true sentimental value, but don't tell me that the Swiss cheese underwear "still has some life left in it."

Unless it's a baseball card you've saved from childhood and plan to sell to buy a new house, if it's falling apart, time to let it go. You can buy new socks at Wal-Mart.

Next week: Five things women should do, but don't. Stay tuned.

-- Katie Young, MidWeek, March 9, 2005