One windy, rainy day my cheap umbrella was blown inside out, leaving me drenched and furious. Muttering under my breath, I wrestled the umbrella closed and jammed it into the trash. Just then a small girl and her father walked by. Her little red umbrella had also been blown inside out. Instead of becoming angry, the girl smiled, "Look Daddy, a giant flower," she said. I realized then, I needed to lighten up.
Whether it is making the most of a bad situation or discovering wonderment in the ordinary world, children have their own way of teaching adults as much as we teach them. But many of us are so wrapped up in our day-to-day lives that this wisdom is wasted. So we took the time to talk to some perceptive parents, educators and other people who work with youngsters. Their observations provide some subtle and not so subtle lessons for all of us.
The power of perseverance. Susan Van Zant, a 52-year old grandmother and elementary school principal in San Diego, remembers one of her most influential "teachers," a 9 year-old named Brian, who has cerebral palsy. When Brian entered the school's charity jogathon., Van Zant assumed he would use his wheelchair, but Brian had planned a surprise for his classmates. "He had been undergoing occupational therapy and learned to walk with a walker. He waited until that day to show the other kids," says Van Zant.
Each step Brian took was enormously difficult and sweat poured down his face as he made his way around the track. "He stumbled and fell, but he got back up again," recalls Van Zant. "After he went around once,we thought he would stop, but he said he wanted to like everyone else and insisted on doing it for a whole hour. He was an inspiration to us all.
Money isn't everything. Carole Kennedy, 54, an elementary-school principal in Columbia, Missouri, recalls preparing for a field trip to St. Louis with her students. Kennedy, whose school serves many children from low-income families, bought a new outfit for one second grader who didn't have many nice clothes. "We thought she'd be delighted, but she wouldn't accept the gift," says Kennedy. "She was comfortable with who she was and if she didn't have things as good as everybody else, that was fine." The episode also taught Kennedy that "the really important issue is the love of family, not trying to keep up with the Joneses."
It's OK to ask for help. While adults often think asking for help is a sign of weakness, children know not only is it smart, but seeking the assistance of others can make them stronger.
Robin Capecci, 36, a social worker at St. Christopher's Hospital for Children in Philadelphia, learned this from Jessica, a 15-year old patient who was dying of cancer. Jessica came to Capecci for advice on how to discuss her condition with her family. "She wanted to reassure them that they would be OK, but she didn't know how," says Capecci.
Since speaking with Jessica, Capecci has been better able to come forward when she feels overwhelmed. "Jessica didn't want anyone to think she was weak in any way, but she taught me that it was OK to turn to someone else to talk."
-- by Stephanie Dolgoff, Women's Day 3/14/95
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