11 acts of generosity

It doesn't take much to make a stranger feel special in our society. Just holding the door open for someone or letting a fellow shopper back out in a crowded parking lot can go a long way. It seems like we don't see even those basic levels of courtesy quite often enough.

That's why it's so noteworthy when someone makes a real difference. When people open their pocketbooks or make a decision that is so striking, so jaw-droppingly generous, that they change lives forever. It happens, in big and small ways.

We've pulled together several examples of people going out of their way for others. They made large donations of money that they could have used themselves. They helped neighbors in crisis, or young people with medical problems. They spent money just to put a smile on someone's face.

And the funny thing about this kind of goodwill is that it can spread like a virus. In some of these cases, one generous act was the spark that spurred on a spree of similar kind-hearted gestures. People wanted to keep the momentum going, to maintain a pattern of giving that is all too rare.

Read on to see 11 amazing acts of generosity.

Happiness U

Ask a dozen people what they want out of life and chances are, among the top 10 desires will be to achieve happiness. Even though happiness is free, it eludes many.

The number of people who grumble about or feel trapped by varying circumstances in their life is what led Alice Inoue to launch Happiness U, which opens next week. She believes that happiness, like learning to read or ride a bike, can be taught. But you don't need to travel the world to find a guru when the formula is no more difficult than: balance + positive thinking = happiness.

"People want life to make them happy instead of making themselves happy and end up waiting their whole lives to be happy," said Inoue, who has given herself the title of chief happiness officer. Some people may not even recognize happiness because it is a state of mind unattached to any "eureka" moment.

"It's not like climbing to the top of a mountain and suddenly realizing, ‘I'm happy,'" she said. "But, you can climb your way out of wherever you are and move yourself to a better place."

Like many people, Inoue grew up believing that people are born with negative or positive dispositions that determine how much happiness they can achieve. Her own experience has taught her that happiness is a choice, and that the brain can be rewired to seek out and embrace the positive in life. She knows because she's turned her own life around with positive thought and action.

This idea has been backed by research and is the subject of a 2012 book, "Rainy Brain, Sunny Brain: How to Retrain Your Brain to Overcome Pessimism and Achieve a More Positive Outlook," by Elaine Fox, a psychology professor at the University of Essex in England.

Those who know Inoue see her as a buoyant and effervescent individual with a ready smile and infectious enthusiasm, but that wasn't always the case. She said she grew up in a strict household with "a strongly abusive father" and a mother who was ill. From the time she was 10, she had to care for a younger brother and a sister with Down syndrome. On top of that, she was overweight throughout her teens.

"I hated my life. I never got to go out. No one liked me and I wanted everyone to like me," she said. "I'd put on a smile on the outside but inside I was very unhappy, to the point where I thought of suicide. But deep inside, I felt happiness was out there, that life had to be better than this."

After graduating with a degree in biology from the University of California at Santa Cruz, she traveled to Japan to teach English. Learning the Japanese language helped her when she moved to Hawaii in 1989. This marked a turning point in her life when she decided to let go of negative emotions and go with the flow of life. She found herself unexpectedly entering the world of media, becoming host of her own weekly Japanese TV show. Her television exposure led her to a secondary career as spokeswoman for several national and international companies.

"Life was good but I was missing purpose," she said.

She embarked on a spiritual path, studying feng shui and astrology. She also became an ordained minister with the purpose of marrying couples and setting them on a path of happily ever after.

"I read about 300 books, thinking that if I focused hard enough, the right information would come to me," she said.

And what she realized, after about 12 years of guiding individuals with feng shui consultations and astrological readings, was that everyone who came to see her — no matter the circumstance — in the big picture was looking for happiness.

Toward that end, classes at Happiness U will address well-being in four categories: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

The easiest to tackle is the physical, dealing with such day-to-day stressors as environment and finances, with classes titled "Get Unstuck," "Feng Shui 101" and "Healthy Money Mindset."

On the emotional level are classes like "Goodbye to Guilt," "Get Over It 101" and "Irritating Relationship Clarity," addressing the irritating people around you. In the third instance, Inoue says the solution is simple: "Those people are not going to change, so you have to change your reaction to them."

The aim is to overcome basic physical and emotional issues to reach the spiritual level of defining and realizing one's life purpose and ultimate grail, the meaning of life.

American culture is not conducive to happiness because of the weight placed on consumption and individual achievement, but long-term happiness is not incumbent on rewards or material goods.

"We think we will get to a certain place and we will feel happy. We put success ahead of happiness, but I've found happiness comes first," she said. "It's a precursor to success and we need to change our thinking to recognize that ‘bad' things don't happen to you. They happen for you. Everything that happens helps you grow in some way.

"It's all good. On my journey of building this business, I thought I would have a lot of headaches, and I have had them, but I've learned to flow with life instead of fight it. When you stop wishing for life to be something it's not and accept it for what it is, you are on the path to happiness."

Tangible benefits come with happiness. Laura Kubzansky, an associate professor of society, human development and health at Harvard University School of Public Health, is at the forefront of such research. In a 2007 study that followed more than 6,000 men and women ages 25 to 74 for 20 years, she found that emotional vitality — a sense of enthusiasm, hopefulness, engagement in life, and the ability to face life's stresses with emotional balance — appears to reduce the risk of coronary heart disease as well as help people avoid or manage heart attacks, strokes, diabetes and depression.

Kubzansky has also shown that 7-year-olds able to stay focused on tasks and maintain a positive outlook report better general health and fewer illnesses 30 years later. She has found that optimism cuts the risk of coronary heart disease by half.

Before going to bed, Inoue suggests, make a habit of thinking of three good things that happened that day. Consistency helps create new neural pathways to view situations in a positive light.

"Finding happiness is a gradual thing. It's not like one day you wake up and say, ‘I'm happy.' But I can look back five years, and 10 years, and see I've come a long way."

[image here http://media.staradvertiser.com/images/20130829_HAPPY.jpg no longer works -- 6/11/19]

-- by Nadine Kam, Star-Advertiser, August 29, 2013

100 best TV shows of all time

From The Sopranos to Louie.  I've watched (or at least looked at for more than a minute) 49 of them.  [via Donna on facebook]

Actually it appears this list came from the 101 best-written shows ever.

Here's another list: TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time

I think I might have written about this earlier..  yeah, sort of.

Ben Affleck: Batman

(CNN) -- The last time Ben Affleck played a superhero, the world cried.

The year was 2003, and the movie was "Daredevil" -- a Hollywood fail that even Affleck has insinuated he'd rather forget.

So is it any wonder that within hours of Warner Bros. announcing the actor was going to play Batman in the upcoming "Man of Steel" sequel, Twitter immediately tried to recast the part using the hashtag #BetterBatmanThanBenAffleck. (Suggestions have included "the drunken hobo who lives under the overpass," the dog from "Air Bud" and "Manti Te'o's girlfriend.")

[8/13/14]  Sorry, Matt Damon won't be Robin.

[9/27/14] The seven actors who've played Batman (before Ben Affleck) [take special notice of Lookwell, starring Adam West and written by Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel]

Sanjay Gupta on marijuana

NEW YORK >> CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta says he spoke too soon in opposing the medical use of marijuana in the past and that he now believes the drug can have very real benefits for people with specific health problems.

Gupta, the network's chief medical correspondent and a brain surgeon, detailed his change of heart in an interview Friday and in an article for CNN's website titled, "Why I changed my mind on weed." He will narrate a documentary on the topic that will air on the network Sunday.

He wrote in Time magazine in 2009 about his opposition to laws that would make the drug available for medical purposes. "Smoking the stuff is not going to do your health any good," he wrote then. But Gupta said Friday he too easily associated marijuana with "malingerers that just wanted to get high."

Now he wants to say he's sorry.

Gupta said he didn't look hard enough at research on the topic, and found some new research that had been done since then. He was encouraged to look into the issue further upon meeting a 5-year-old girl in Colorado for whom medical marijuana has sharply cut down on the amount of seizures she had been suffering.

Time spent with her and others made him realize that medical professionals should be responsible for providing the best care possible, and that could include marijuana.

"We have been terribly and systematically misled for nearly 70 years in the United States, and I apologize for my own role in that," he wrote.

Centenarian secrets

There were more than 53,000 Americans who were at least 100 years old as of the 2010 census, and the number is expected to soar to more than 600,000 by 2050. Undoubtedly, many of these long-lived Americans have been blessed with good genes, but many also share common habits that have helped them in aging well, according to the new book "Celebrate 100: Centenarian Secrets to Success in Business and Life," based on interviews with 500 centenarians.

"I love to share the wisdom of the older generation. We need to hear it," says co-author Steve Franklin, a former professor and associate dean at Emory University's Goizueta Business School, who collaborated on the book with Lynn Peters Adler, the founder and director of the nonprofit National Centenarian Awareness Project.

1) avoid taking on debt
2) find work you love
3) delay your retirement
4) save at least 10%
5) diversify your investments
6) learn to be resourceful in tough times
7) plan for a long life
8) exercise
9) maintain a positive outlook
10) stay in the habit of learning